What Could Have Been
by Drop And Die
Summary: JxAxO oneshot.  Aelita found love but not with him. His time to reveal his feelings is running out.


**Disclaimer - **Definitely don't own Code Lyoko. Otherwise Yumi and Ulrich would have actually figured out their feelings at some point. Oh well.

_Well this sucks._ The self-pitying thought flits through his mind as Jeremie flies through the air. Not without good reason; he didn't expect to live much longer once that rapidly approaching street pole greets him. Of all the times to get distracted by his usual fantasies of Aelita. Then again, she was right behind him the whole time. He really should've looked to the right before walking into the street. The wave of pain he expected to crash onto him when he impacts the pole doesn't appear. Instead his conscious seems to have an invisible mist interfere with thought.

The sensation of moving had ceased and now all he could do was stare up at the sky. Everything moves in slow motion; Jeremie could count the individual blood droplets as they spray into the air. The screech of locking tires still floats on the air and his friends haven't been able to do anything much more than begin a scream. Jeremie attempts to move a finger but nothing responds. Everything below his neck ceased to exist. _That explains the lack of pain._

The strange mist gains a stronger hold on his brain as the crimson spheres in the air finally start to travel towards the earth. Still holding onto the vain hope that this was a minor problem, Jeremie's body initiates the process of another shuddering breath. Life's tenacity simply amazed him sometimes. Even now his eyes were blinking, lungs were drawing in air, and his heart continued to pump blood. It was such a futile gesture; the only place his blood went with each beat was the warm asphalt under him.

Another breath wracked his body and added a larger quantity of crimson liquid to the spreading pool around him. His mind begins to jitter along random paths of thought. From the corner of his eye Jeremie sees an outstretched hand pushing through the air towards him. A scream finally reaches his ears; Aelita really had a set of lungs. _Aelita…_ A smile grows centimeter by centimeter on his face as the randomness of his mind focuses on one thing through that black fog: the beautiful face that swam in his mind's eye.

The beautiful face that he always desired yet could never touch. That privilege belonged to Odd. What a rude shock that day had been to him. Here was Aelita, finally materialized on earth. Jeremie stared at her for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was about five seconds. At least he was too stunned to even try to move towards her. That would have been embarrassing. His feeling that he would finally be able to confess his love to her shattered as she immediately went to Odd. Somehow jealousy and betrayal never factored into Jeremie's feelings towards the two.

Odd had looked over the pink hair attacking his chest directly into Jeremie's eyes. Jeremie's friends all knew how he felt about Aelita long before she came to live on Earth. He had made the hardest choice of his life in that second. Glacial eyes met Odd's and Jeremie nodded slightly. That acknowledgement of defeat defined the rest of his life forever. _Well, the rest of my life is probably going to last another few minutes so no big deal._

Time crawled by slowly for Jeremie ever after that day. The seconds dripped infinitesimally across the frozen pane of time. The small voice in the back of his mind that rooted for Aelita's and Odd's relationship to fail gradually fell silent in the ensuing weeks. He couldn't possibly hate either of them. He loved Aelita too much and since Odd made her happy Jeremie's anger found no target and fizzled out of existence.

Aelita found the happiest times of her life. She had found love and friendship. Sadly the friendship was with Jeremie; how many times had she burst excitedly into his room to talk about the latest development in her romance? She always asked her best friend for advice. Jeremie couldn't deny her anything so he always responded with as much as he could give. He never let the agony show around her. If she knew he was hurting then she would feel pain as well.

Jeremie had hoped after a couple weeks that his love would fade or at least get directed at something else. Aelita walked a different path; Jeremie needed to find something besides the lonely road stretching before him. Unfortunately the unrequited love only strengthened with each moment spent in her presence. His brand of heroin just happened to come in an adorable pink-haired package.

Odd tried to help and oddly enough the late-night chats with his victor did ease his pain. Jeremie chuckles through a bubble of blood at the awful pun before the recollections catch him again. Finding himself in a strange point on the not quite real love triangle, Jeremie struggled to continue. Odd became his best friend behind Aelita. When they went out he often got invited along as the third wheel. Jeremie didn't mind; time with Aelita was worth any price. Odd brought up the subject of Jeremie trying anything with her one morning and Jeremie had immediately shaken his head no. Aelita didn't want him; there was no point ruining their best friend status just to cause pain.

He credited Odd with one thing: he always did make her happy. That moment when Jeremie relinquished his claim on Aelita Odd had sent something back through their eye contact. "I will never hurt her." reverberated in Jeremie's mind. Once again his trip down memory lane had taken no time at all; Aelita was on her third step toward him while the door of the offending car opened with a clunk. _Why am I still living?_

That mist kept the same hold on him but refused to go any farther. Something inside of him fought back encroaching death and kept his body chugging along. It was so pointless… Jeremie knew death would take him. Perhaps the Grim Reaper was thirsty and sat in the Starbucks on the opposite corner while reading the paper. If so, he'd mosey along any minute now and snatch Jeremie's soul away.

A beam of sunlight breaks through a puffy cloud. The soft illumination creates a sparkling crimson ocean around the island of Jeremie's shattered body. He would appreciate the dazzling effect more if that innocent-looking puddle didn't mean the end to his oh-so short life. A snatch of conversation from one of the bystanders reaches him. "Call the emergency services…" Jeremie smirks at that monumental waste of energy. He'd be dead by the time the ambulance even left the hospital. _Guess I'm not the only one holding foolishly onto hope._

Jeremie's consciousness clears for a brief instant and thought crowds his beleaguered mind. This…force or whatever it was that prolonged his life kept on trying. His eyebrows draw down with a cracking of drying blood as Jeremie contemplates what exactly that force is. It felt like himself yet all he wished for right now was an ending. _I wonder what my epitaph will say._ All Jeremie accomplished in life existed in the pink haired person running toward him. They might as well carve Aelita into his tombstone.

Jeremie inspects that feeling of life within him. Poking and prodding it, Jeremie finally realizes what is keeping him here on Earth. Once again it boiled down to the same thing that drove his actions. Aelita tethered him to life even while the Fates snipped his strand away. _How strong is my love for her? _The answer to that question resided in the strength of life itself: that drive to exist and mean something no matter what obstacles stood in the path. Aelita meant more to Jeremie than his own self did; love can't get more powerful than that. Self-pity pays him a final visit as Jeremie wishes for the countless time that she returned the feeling. _She doesn't even know my feelings, how can she?_

A fair point indeed. The year while she was on Lyoko he fell in love with her. Maybe if he spoke up before she was materialized then he could be the one holding onto Aelita's hand right now. Ifs and maybes were a constant refrain to him. The fantasies of what could have been accompany him constantly. No doubt they will accompany him to whatever realm exists beyond life. Maybe he could find a dream world of his own creation for the rest of eternity. On the other hand, if only a dark void of oblivion awaits any restless soul then peace of a sort would be Jeremie's reward. _Funny, death is a win-win situation for me._ Another chuckle climbs from his shattered chest and into the air.

_About time._ Aelita's tears drip onto his face and turn pink from mingling with blood as she looks down at him with agony flaring in her green eyes. She knew he didn't stand a chance of surviving this little mishap. Jeremie feels a reflection of her pain burst inside of him; he hated when anything hurt her at all. Even now on the brink of ceasing to be Jeremie still could only think of how to protect her. At least she would miss him. That was his consolation prize.

"Jeremie…" she whispers while cradling his face in her hands. It was now or never; Jeremie had nothing to lose by revealing how he felt. The Fates held the ultimate trump card and it was mere seconds from being slammed onto the table. Too bad speech escaped him. Jeremie tried to figure out how to get his feelings across while the mist took another step into his mind. _Weird…how…but why?_ Rather than flowing coherently, his thoughts began to sluggishly run together as the electricity in his sparking neurons fades.

Thankfully he didn't need to speak. Something in her bottomless emerald eyes shines a reflection of what poured out of his eyes. Whether it's delusional hope on his part or real doesn't matter. For this moment before slipping away Jeremie knows with a certainty that she loved him in some way. The black cloud silently but surely strips all consciousness away from him as the last bit of love pours from his eyes. That force that kept him alive was finally sated. Those glacial eyes become fixed on something beyond Aelita; the choking gasps emanated into the air no longer. Emerald eyes gaze into sapphire ones as the latter dim into darkness. The last thing Jeremie hears before his vision goes black is a faint "I love you…"


End file.
